Since my 2 little ones were born and especially now they’ve started nursery, I’ve always felt like I’ve had to try and fit in with the other parents. Nursery pick up and drop of times are the worst as are children’s birthday parties. I either one have to do the whole mum act, the nodding and smiling and talking about grown up things or I find myself stood on my own whilst all the other parents stand around and talk to one another and my only interaction ends up being with the child or 2 kid who aren’t mine, but for some reason takes a shine to me.
I’m holding out for the day there both old enough for me to do the drop of and run tactic. Instead of having to stand around feeling like a social prior. I mean don’t get me wrong I’ve tried the whole Mumsy Mum thing and tried to make friends with other mums but its always turn’s sour. For example around here they run a local mums group. I first started going when I was pregnant with my second. I met some lovely other mums there, id say I’m a fairly young mum so there quiet a bit older than me but still we got on well enough, well so I thought.
But after a while it got quiet clicky and the other mums all iced me out one by one, just deleted me of all social media and stopped talking to me. It was really gutting. It was especially gutting when we were at group and the other mums started going out of there way to stop there kids playing with my kids.. pulling them away like they had some kind of contagious infection. The whole thing was heartbreaking. Was it just of case of they decided I wasn’t good enough or something but then surely that shouldn’t have any kind of impact on my kids, or maybe it all stemmed from my own security of being a young mum. I did find myself questioning if maybe id done something wrong, if there was some point, something that had happened that made them decide to cut me out.
Having children, especially now there growing up has given me a whole new perspective on life. If you take some time to have a step back and see things the way a 4 year old does, it makes life so much easier. My 4 year old doesn’t remember any of the kids that were mean to her in the past nor the kids she played with from that mums group, all she cares about now is her friends at nursery and I’m sure when she goes to school the same will happen again. Yeah she might keep some of them nursery friends most shell forget about along with the ones who were horrible to her and shell go on to make new ones. This has taught me to be the same, if other parents don’t like me for me then so what!!
Since taking this new outlook on it, I think I’ve actually made more friends from just being myself and not caring what other people think. I admit there are going to be a few parents along the way that views I wont be able to change and no matter how hard I try we just will never get along. Whether that’s because our parenting styles are too different or our personalities, guess we will never know, but that’s okay with me.
I’m interested to know if any of you have had issues trying to fit in as a parent too?
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